


Guilt

by refusetoshine



Series: Season One [10]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 06:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21175004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/refusetoshine/pseuds/refusetoshine
Summary: Beverly talks to Deanna about her fears of what Will's 'gift' to her would have been.





	Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> Based on 1x10 - Hide and Q.

Beverly sat in the counselor’s office, twiddling her thumbs nervously. After the incident with Q giving Riker omnipotent powers, she’d set up an appointment. She had been absolutely terrified of Riker in that moment for what he could’ve done and how it would have affected her. 

Just then, Deanna returned with two cups of tea. Beverly took one graciously and sipped. She didn’t usually drink chai, but it was a welcome change from the usual.

“So,” said Deanna, putting her teacup down gently on the table in front of her, “What’s been on your mind?”

Beverly sighed. It was hard enough thinking about it, let alone discussing it, but she needed to get it out.

“It’s about the whole Q thing.”

“Ah. Any part of it in particular?”

She knew Deanna was doing her job as a counselor by trying to get information. Beverly also knew that if she didn’t talk about it, it would eat her up inside.

“When Q told Will to give everyone a gift, I was terrified.”

“Terrified of what?”

She took a deep breath.

“I was scared he was going to bring back Jack.”

“I could see how that would be distressing.”

Beverly bit her lip. She would’ve loved nothing more to see Jack again and for him to see their son. However, it wasn’t her feelings she’d been worried about.

“It wasn’t me I was worried about,” she admitted, “It was the Captain.”

Deanna had a look of understanding on her face. Obviously, she and Jean-Luc had discussed this part of his past before. She thought back to the day he’d brought Jack home, how she’d cried in his arms, how he’d disappeared for ten years and left her alone to raise Wesley. The tears were beginning to fall. She felt a hand on her arm.

“Beverly?”

She looked at the counselor who had tears of her own building in her eyes. Beverly had almost forgot about Deanna’s empathic abilities. She must have been projecting her sadness strongly. Beverly wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I’m sorry. It’s just hard for me talk about Jack without thinking back to when he died. Jean – I mean, the Captain was the one who brought him home to me and Wesley. He was so supportive through that time and then he disappeared.”

The tears started again. Deanna kept a hold of her arm, silent as she knew her friend had more to say.

“Ten years, Deanna!” she exclaimed, “The first time I saw him in ten years was when I walked on the bridge with Wesley. Then the first thing he does is yell at my son. It made me wonder what happened to the Jean-Luc Picard that I knew and -”

She’d stopped herself before she said it, but Deanna had felt it. She cursed herself for getting so emotional over something that hadn’t happened, but she’d thought could happen.

“Beverly, I promise I won’t tell him what you just projected, but I think that the Captain had a lot of guilt about Jack’s death and that’s why he left. I’m not saying it’s right, but that is my impression.”

The tears began to slow down. She knew Jean-Luc had felt responsible for Jack’s death, but she didn’t realize just how far that guilt ran. As much as his leaving had hurt her, she had a better understanding of why. She got up to leave, the counselor rising as well.

“Thank you, Deanna.”


End file.
